Smokey Maverick

I’ve run into a few B-List celebrities in my life so far, including Keisel the Diesel and the Wannstache. While nice, those close encounters come nowhere close to the elbow I rubbed this past Thursday night.

I was in Lansing MI, staying at the Radisson on the top floor. It was fairly empty, but I did see many room service trays out at the door to the right of my hotel room. Turned out it was none other than Jerry Seinfeld. He was in town, performing at MSU on Thursday night – a performance that my project had purchased a bulk of tickets for, and I got one for free.

The night of the show, I left my hotel room and headed to the elevators. As I’m waiting, two men join me, with a luggage cart all loaded up. One of them looked familiar, but I brushed it off, and prepared to make conversation by cracking “What, did you guys move in?!” Before I’m able to fire off this witty comment, Jerry Seinfeld himself rounds the corner to join us in waiting. I stand there, jaw on the floor, stunned. I start putting it all together – the familiar looking guy is Tom Papa, Jerry’s friend and opener. Not sure who the other guy is. And there is Jerry – going with his crew, to perform at the show I’m headed to. I finally muster up the courage to test the discussion waters, pull out my ticket to the show, hold it up and joke “Welp, guess I won’t be late for the show!” Tom Papa graciously gives a quick chuckle, and says “Nope bud, you’ll be good.” Message taken – they understandably don’t want talk.

The elevator doors open, where a bellhop is waiting and goes “Oh sorry guys, I was coming up for that [luggage rack]” “No worries, we got it.” The four of us and a luggage rack join the bellhop in the elevator and I’m still too starstruck to say anything else. The bellhop has a huge grin plastered on his face, looking at me. I acknowledge him with a smile, and crawl back into soaking up what is happening to me. However, he continues to smile at me. I look back and him and he goes “Are you his son?” I let out a boisterous laugh, and proclaim, “No, no I’m not his son.” Still no comment from Jerry – further proof he didn’t want to deal with just another foam-mouthed fan. Elevator door opens at the bottom floor, we exit and go our separate ways to the same show. I was in a speechless daze for the next 5 minutes.

For a solid 2 hours the next morning, I played and replayed and replayed the scene in my head. What could I have done differently? Should I have said anything else? Did I just sleep mere yards away from the GodFather himself for a few nights? Why didn’t I have the set to ask for a ride to the show with them? If I had gotten a ride with them, how would the conversation have played out? Why didn’t I just thank them for taking time away from their families to travel and entertain middle America?

I have a decent theory why I was so tongue tied. This man, Jerry Seinfeld, has defined about 35% of what I think is humorous in this comedy we call life. There is not a day that has gone by where the influence of the show Seinfeld has imprinted on me, is not seen or felt. That, and I despise the folks who gaggle over celebrities – it’s the reason the celebrities we love can’t have a public life.

Still though, probably should’ve asked for a ride to the show.

Tags:   Elbow Rubbing · Seinfeld2 Comments